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• Perpetrating and experiencing bullying and cyberbullying
• Risky sex
• Drug and alcohol abuse
We can make out the shape of solutions. Let’s understand that the Man Box is bad for everyone and that we all, men most urgently, have a role to play in eliminating toxic masculinity and the Man Box. Let’s agree that transforming these harmful notions of masculinity has to start from the earliest stages/ages. We must take seriously the voices, experiences, and preferences of women and survivors of violence, and we must see sexual harassment within the larger problem of social norms related to manhood.
I’m calling on all men and boys to break out of the toxic behaviors and live by the principles of a Healthier and more Respectful Manhood by:
1. Embracing and expressing a full range of or emotion
a. Allowing men and boys to cry
b. Validating men’s and boys’ feelings
2. Not conforming to the pressure to always be fearless and in control
a. Allow men and boys to be and act afraid
b. Allow men and boys to feel free to ask for help without feeling ashamed or embarrassment.
3. Value a woman’s life, treat all people equally and promote the betterment of humanity a. Never use power, control, or violence
b. Never use gender-based attributes to bully or discriminate
4. Do not use language that denigrates women and girls
a. Do not make or laugh at sexist jokes
b. Do not perpetuate negative stereotypes with phrases like “You throw like a girl!”
5. Develop an interest in the experience of women and girls, outside of sexual conquest.
a. Listen to women and validate their experiences
b. Embrace female relationships
6. Model a healthy, respect manhood to other men and boys
Simply put, fellas, we can no longer stand by and remain silent. We must refuse to allow abuse in any form to occur. And because domestic violence affects entire communities, everyone should take steps to help those who are being abused. If you’re a friend, set up time and a safe place to talk. Listen with an open mind. Above all, don’t judge, shame or blame. Be supportive. Remember, this is very hard and can be embarrassing, humiliating and painful. If the friend is hesitant about leaving or decides to stay, continue to be supportive.
If, however, your friend expresses a desire to leave, help them develop a safety plan that includes packing the most important items and finding a place to stay. If you’re being abused or you know someone whom you suspect is being abused, know that there is help available online at www.womenshealth.gov andwww.girlshealth.gov. You can always call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233 or 800-787-3224 (TDD). There are also resources for teens; visit loveisrespect.org, call 866-331-9474, or text love is to 22522.
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